Studies have shown that the average person will attend a funeral once every five years and that they will make funeral arrangements twice in their lifetime. We have put together this booklet to provide you with information and express the views of our funeral home.
Today, an increasing number of families are selecting cremation, but there are many more decisions to be made. As funeral directors, we feel it is our responsibility to give you all the information we can about cremation, your options, and choices that are available. The following is a compilation of the more frequently asked questions about cremation.
Q: What is cremation?
A: Cremation is the use of intense heat to reduce human remains into small bone fragments. These bone fragments are then mechanically reduced into a fine powdery form which is referred to as cremated remains, ashes, or simply cremains. It is necessary to understand that even with the utmost of care, it is not possible to recover all particles of the cremated remains of the deceased, and that some particles may inadvertently become commingled with particles of other cremated remains during the cremation processes.
Q: Is cremation a popular choice in the United States?
A: Cremation is the disposition of choice for a growing number of families in the United States and Canada. Cremation is the second most preferred form of final disposition in the United States, with the most preferred being earth burial. Cremation currently accounts for greater than 25% of all final dispositions. Cremation should be looked upon as simply an alternative to earth burial or entombment.
Q: Why do people select cremation?
A: Cremation is simply a matter of preference and choice. There are various reasons for selecting cremation, influenced by ethnic or religious background, or family tradition. The idea that cremation is selected because of perceived lower funeral costs or because of a lack of land for earth burial is inaccurate. Most cemeteries report that they have enough land to care for burials for the next 100 to 150 years. As for funeral costs, they are based on the fixed expenses plus the family’s selection of services and merchandise.
Q: Do I need a funeral director for cremation?
A: Yes. In New York only a licensed funeral director may transport a human remains and obtain the necessary permits and authorizations and process the legal documents required at the time of death. Your funeral director may also be able to provide information about local regulations and the options available to you. (Beware that some cemeteries may mislead you to believe that you do not need a funeral director and offer you a cremation arrangement. However, when the death occurs, you or your family will be told to contact a funeral director.) It is advisable to consult with a licensed New York State funeral director before committing to an arrangement at a cemetery.
Q: What type of service may we have with cremation?
A: You may have any type of service that you would prefer. Allow us to explain several options. A traditional or contemporary service may be had before the cremation. These services offer a public viewing (wake) for family and friends, or a private family viewing. You may also have a closed casket visitation to allow family and friends to express their sympathies. These types of service offer closure to the family and provide a chance to say good-bye. Another option is a memorial service held in the funeral home, or a memorial mass celebrated at your church, either with or without the cremated remains present in an urn. For this type of service, the family will often bring in photographs or momentos to personalize the service. The options are really limitless, and each family should decide which type of service would be most beneficial to them.
Q: May a person be cremated immediately?
A: Yes, in some instances. Many states have a 48 hour waiting period from the time of death until the time a person may be cremated. This situation may necessitate embalming and/or refrigeration services when available. In all cases there is a brief delay necessary for obtaining information and filing the required permits and authorizations.
Q: Does cremation affect the grief process?
A: With any method of funeral or final disposition, three factors are important. The first is that the survivors are comfortable with the choices they have made. Second, people often find it therapeutic to observe a death with some form of ceremony or memorial service. Third, many people find it helpful to have a place of memorialization for the deceased which they may visit later. As long as the family takes these three factors into consideration, the form of final disposition should not affect the grieving process. Psychologically, people need to deal with their grief at the time of loss; this enhances one’s capacity to cope with the adjustment period that follows the death of a loved one.
Q: How does the cost of cremation compare with the cost of burial or entombment?
A: The basic charge for an immediate cremation is somewhat less than a traditional burial. However, with the wide range of items and services available to the family for both the funeral and the final disposition, it is often not possible to make an accurate comparison. The family has the option to select as little or as much as they prefer. There are limitless options with cremation.
Q: May we scatter the cremated remains?
A: Although New York State has no laws regulating the ultimate disposition of cremated remains, you may not legally dispose of them upon public domain or upon the private property of another person. Public domain is any land owned by federal, state, county, or municipal government, and includes forests, lakes and streams. The Federal Aviation Administration specifically prohibits throwing anything from an airplane. Essentially, the disposition of cremated remains may properly be done only upon one’s private property, or within a cemetery, mausoleum, or scattering garden. Disposition on one’s property is not recommended because one day the property will be owned by someone else. If you decide to scatter the remains, we recommend that it be done by a friend rather than a member of the immediate family. This is because cremated remains are not ashes, but bone fragments (often recognizable), and scattering them may be an unpleasant emotional task for someone very close to the deceased. New York State law does permit the retention of cremated remains in your home, however if you should move to another state, you will be subject to that state’s laws regarding cremated remains. Before deciding to keep remains in your own home, you should consider what will become of them after your own death. The recommended method of disposition of cremated remains is placement in a cemetery, columbarium or mausoleum. The cost is nominal and placement is permanent. In addition to providing a lasting memorial for the deceased, it affords the family a focal point to visit as the years go by, to remember and reflect.
Q: How is a cremation service different from a traditional funeral service?
A: It isn’t. Well, at least it doesn’t have to be different. The content of a cremation service is entirely subject to the wishes of the family. The family may choose as much or as little formality as they feel comfortable with. Remember that cremation is only an alternative to earth burial or entombment.
Q: What are the benefits of having a traditional funeral with cremation?
A: A time of visitation with family and friends is very important, and too often this is forgotten when cremation is being considered. People seem to think that if the deceased’s remains are not at the funeral home, then there is no reason for family and friends to gather. Oftentimes, the remains are present, and there is no reason why the deceased’s body cannot be prepared for a viewing prior to cremation. The cremation process has no bearing on whether or not you may have a visitation. The family needs the supportive presence of friends during this trying time. A visitation provides an outlet to talk about the loss and to celebrate the life that was lived. Our funeral home provides a quiet and restful setting for those who wish to visit with the family. Since the family home can become quite chaotic during the first days of mourning, it is often a welcome respite to have use of the funeral home for uninterrupted time with family and friends.
Q: What types of caskets are available with cremation?
A: There is a wide variety of caskets available for cremation. If you have chosen to have a more traditional funeral, your choice of casket will be more relevant. The funeral home offers a wide range of caskets made of materials ranging from minimum metals to minimum cardboard containers. Most cremation caskets are available only in a half-couch (half-open).
Q: Is an urn necessary?
A: Cremated remains are often returned in a small temporary container constructed of either plastic or cardboard. Many people prefer to have the cremated remains placed into an urn. In some cases, the family will select an urn that has special meaning. Families may elect to purchase urns that they consider appropriate to, or symbolic of the deceased. Our funeral home has a wide variety of urns to meet the needs of your family. The urns range from the more decorative urns designed to remain in the home to urns more appropriate for burial or inurnment in a columbarium or mausoleum. There are many designs to choose from, and personalization may be added to the urn you select. Names, dates of birth and death, or a special verse may be added to enhance the urn, as well as medallions depicting the branches of the United States armed service. We will take the time to work with you to ensure that we create the memorial deserving of your loved one. If you are planning on using a columbarium, urn garden, mausoleum or cemetery, we will review any requirements that they may have regarding the use of an urn. Urns are available in many styles and many different materials. There are single urns and companion urns available.
Q: What are the benefits of pre-planning my funeral wishes?
A: Pre-planning your funeral is an act of love and consideration for your surviving family members. Pre-planning alleviates painful decisions at a difficult time and also ensures that your family knows your final wishes. The Ray O’Connell Funeral Home is well versed in Medicaid regulations and irrevocable trust accounts. We have experience with obtaining Veterans’ Benefits as well as Railroad Benefits. To make an appointment, please call our office at 823-0124, and we will be glad to meet with you at our office or in your home.
