Personalizing the Ceremony

Funerals are most meaningful when they are personalized. Studies show that more and more people believe this to be true. Baby boomers, in particular, want more information about funeral options and more ideas for personalizing the service.

When you are planning a funeral, personalizing the ceremony should be a priority. Think about the special qualities of the person who died and what he or she meant to others. Consider his or her passions, hobbies, pastimes, likes, dislikes. How can you capture this unique life? Be creative as you, together with your family, friends, funeral director and the person who will lead the service, brainstorm how to remember and honor the person who died.

„« Write a personalized obituary. Some newspapers allow you to express a little more than usual who/what/why/where/when.

„« Display personal items or hobby paraphernalia on a table at the visitation, the ceremony and/or the gathering afterwards.

„« Have more than one person deliver the eulogy. Ask several people to share memories and talk about different aspects of the person who died.

„« Create a personalized program for the ceremony. You can include photos, poems, anecdotes-whatever you¡¦d like! Your funeral director can help you with this.

„« Ask children if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for the person who died. Their ¡§goodbyes¡¨ can then be placed in the casket alongside him or her.

„« Select flowers that were meaningful to the person who died. A simple arrangement of freshly cut lilacs, for example, might be perfect.

„« Create a funeral that captures the personality of the person who died. If he was zany, don¡¦t be afraid to use humor. If she was affectionate, have everyone hug the person next to them during the ceremony.

„« At the visitation, the ceremony and /or the gathering display photos of the person who died. Music can be played at the visitation, the committal service and the gathering, as well as the funeral itself.

„« Create a personalized grave maker. Include a poem, a drawing or a short phrase that defines the person.

„« Many times the casket or urn used at the funeral can be personalized to reflect the hobbies, lifestyles and other interest of your loved one. Caskets can be customized with special embroidery on the interior fabrics. Some caskets feature unique corner hardware designs that reflect individual interests (like golfing, gardening or fishing), relationships (like Mom or Dad), or spirituality. Urns can be engraved with names, dates of birth and death, and other special text.

The following are some examples of what can be done.