Grief Education

Children & Grief

Coping with Grief

Kids Talk Back--What Children Say about Funerals

These kids' comments were made by children attending Karen Nilsen's STAR classes at the Morris Nilsen Funeral Chapel during 1997-2001.

Kids' Comment of the Week

Christine, age 7: "I want to tie my STAR message to a balloon so Grandpa can
see it coming from up in heaven. I think I'll tie a piece of candy on the
end of it. He couldn't have candy in the hospital because he had diabetes
and he was too sick. But NOW, in heaven, he CAN!"

Although I deal in facts when it comes to explaining the preparation of the body, the physical appearance, and the way the deceased will feel, I leave all spiritual beliefs and explanations to the individual family. This is an area I do not venture into. If a child tells me, "Grandma is in heaven," I can and will wholeheartedly agree. For questions concerning the final destination of the "spirit", I reflect the question back to the child and ask them what their family has told them. I also encourage them to talk to their
family members about these questions.

The intent of the STAR Class is not to be a grief therapy or counseling
session, but rather, simply, a class that prepares a child for the
visitation/wake, funeral and burial. All other areas may be discussed, but I
am careful not to impose my own faith traditions on any other family.

Share Your Child's Comments

Would you like to share something your child has said about the death of a loved one, a funeral, or a visitation? Enter it in the form below and hit submit; we'll post it on the funeralplan.com website.

Your entry may also be included in an upcoming book developed by STAR class creator Karen Nilsen. (Please note that submitting a quote automatically grants permission for inclusion in the book).

Please include the child's first name and age in your submission.