from It's Okay to Cry Guide
by Yvonne Butler Clark
Children may experience joy and laughter from remembering and sharing
specific details about their loved one; however, the joy may turn to sorrow
and tears as they realize that they will not be able to have special times
or celebrations with that person again.
- To help children make the memory of the loved one a positive grief
- To give children permission to share several emotions--the joy of
pictures/occasions and the sadness they feel because they won't be able
to have "special" times with that person again.
- Encourage children to collect photographs or draw pictures from
memorable occasions or special times. Picture memories (photographs
or drawings) allow them to express grief.
- In the process of putting the pictures in the workbook, children should
relate the significance of the pictures they have chosen to the caregiver
- Ask them what they remember about that special time.
- Ask what they're feeling as they remember the celebration or event.
- To allow children to talk freely about the deceased and to explore
feelings past and present regarding the deceased.
- To allow children/adolescent the emotional expression and release
of tears, reassuring them that you understand their tears and that it's
okay to cry.
- To remind children that a relationship does not end with death.